1. Get arrested. This would be the ultimate bummer on your grand European excursion. You hear that the first thing to do when you get arrested is to contact the US embassy, but if it’s for causing a drunken disturbance or soliciting a prostitute, why bother? No need to share that information with the federal government. Here’s the link for the State Dept’s advice for getting arrested in France.

2. Get into a fight. In Europe there are neighborhoods or enclaves, where the people are marginalized or discriminated against by their governments. Without any jobs, you’ll then have roving gangs of young people with too much time on their hands just going A-team on anyone who gives them the evil eye. You tell them that you’re American? Fughedaboutit!

3. Petting a German Shepherd in Germany. But over there, they just call them shepherds. I actually did this while in Munich. That lil’ &#@$^ almost bit my hand off. Good times.

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