My grandma lives in a city in Taiwan that is slightly less under developed than Taipei (Read: STICKS). Because it has lots of open gutters and drainage systems (Read: GROSS), the city has some extremely potent mosquitos who will take a look at you and starting digging into like you were the Bellagio Buffet. I was completely unprepared to deal with the mosquitoes and they really tore right into me. Anytime I hit a tropical destination like Costa Rica, Barbados, Thailand, mosquitoes send out radar to their clan and any bug in a 50-mile radius that fatty American blood is in the country and Big Mac blood ready to be eaten.

Tips to avoid mosquito bites (researched AFTER my trip):

1. Cover as much skin as possible: Obviously, this was one that was lost on me.

2. SPRAY mosquito repellent: It’s a pain when you have to spray every few hours, but you’ll regret not doing it when sit down at a restaurant and the restaurant owner comes over and shouts out: “What the HELL happened to you?”. Be careful not to spray too much on your skin because you probably don’t want to grow another eye ball from all that obsorbed poisent. Also, besure to spray on your clothes as well.

3. Avoid using products with fragrance: No shit, they like the smell of Chanel No. 5, huh?

4. Wear light colored clothing: Beige, khaki and olive are colors that mosquitos don’t find sexy. Weird, huh? Stick to these colors and avoid neon colors, especially blues and greens. Actually, always avoid neon colors. ALWAYS.

5. Be cautious around dawn and dusk: Apparently, this is prime biting time. Mosquitos are also attracted to prespiration, so avoid sweating around these times.

6. Foods: Who knows if there’s any truths to these, but I’ve heard that people who consume sugary drinks and meat attracts a lot of mosquitos. So… steak and margaritas for every meal might be out. Eat lots of oranges and other citrus.

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